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Top 10: Breakup lines

Another one bites the dust...

Spartan Oracle, Reporter

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With school starting and new relationships beckoning you away from your best friends, it’s time to share a few ways to “break it off” with those who you are ready to leave in the dust. Here are the Top 10 Ways to Breakup with Your Friends. Because, let’s face it, breaking up is hard to do, especially with a friend.

 

(Disclaimer- If you actually believe this list, you are foolish, and we are breaking up. This is all a joke, people.)

 

  1. School references are always a heck of a lot of fun when destroying relationships, such as: “There’s no chemistry between us, but now there’s history.”

 

  1. Make like a 40-year-old mom on Facebook and tell them: “I think we’ll be better off as unfriends.”

 

  1. When in doubt, be like Drake and just tell them: “I only love my bed, and my mom, I’m sorry.”

 

  1. To give this a more familial spin, you can always tell them: “You’re like a brother to me, and I don’t like my brother.”

 

  1. “I’m going through a lot right now.” For instance, you.

 

  1. You could always go the track route and tell them: “This relationship has run its course, and that’s ok.”

 

  1. If you are pyromaniac or it is near the 4th of July, try this fun phrase: “I really didn’t feel that spark.”

 

  1.  “It’s been fun, but I think it’s time we find someone new.” It wasn’t really fun, but you have nothing else to say, so you may as well lie.

 

  1. “I’m sorry; it’s not you, it’s me.” But you know it is actually them.

 

  1. Sometimes, you just need to say it how it is: “This was inevitable.”
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